Jon Murphy, PMHNP-BC:
Hello, it's Jon Murphy here,

psychiatric nurse practitioner.

Welcome back to another
episode of Survival Notes.

It's been a while since I recorded one
of these, and there's a reason for that.

I'm going through a full creative shift.

It's a renaissance of how I'm
working, thinking, showing up

personally and professionally.

I'm proud to say this, but this
podcast is now part of the Compass

Point Institute podcast network.

Right now we're hosted on transistor.fm.

You can find that at
cpipodcasts.transistor.fm.

They've been solid and behind the scenes.

I've made some big operational changes.

I've stripped away a lot of the
friction, especially the kind that

was draining my time and energy notes,
documentation, the electronic health

record, administrative clutter, all
of that is being delegated because

that's not why I got into this work.

I'm here for the real stuff,
talking, listening and connecting,

survival, lived experience.

The reason I'm able to help
people is because I've had to

figure this stuff out for myself.

Okay, let's rewind.

At 22, I was making $10 an hour
opening doors at a psych hospital

on the South Shore, Massachusetts.

No plan, just showing up day after day.

That was the job that
set everything in motion.

Fast forward to 2017, and now
I have my master's degree.

Graduated from Boston College and
starting my first role as a psychiatric

nurse practitioner in Portland, Oregon.

I showed up overdressed,
hung my diploma on the wall.

And I felt the full weight of total
imposter syndrome and the first day,

my first prescription, what happens?

They couldn't pick it up.

I didn't even know what
a billing code was.

Think about that.

Six years of higher education and
not one real world lesson about

how healthcare actually works.

It's when I realized there's
theory and there's the system.

And if you don't learn how to navigate
the system, it doesn't matter how well

you understand people or medicine.

Over time, I've learned
to think in systems.

I encourage my patients to do the same.

I've also learned the power
of incremental change.

That's one small thing.

One really tiny, itty bitty
small thing instead of nothing.

We get to the same outcome.

Don't think about it.

Don't wanna do it?

Don't think about it.

Do one little itty bitty thing,
then don't think about it.

That's been true in my clinical
work and my healing, and now

how I've run my business.

Delegation used to terrify me.

When I first started, I wouldn't even
let a secretary send a fax for me.

Guilt, people pleasing over
responsibility ran the show, but I

worked through it slowly, deliberately.

The version of me that operated like
that doesn't even feel like me anymore.

So the shift is real, and it
was most noticeable when I

went no contact with my mother.

My mother has narcissistic personality
disorder of a very malignant variety.

I've done a lot of healing, taken
full accountability in my life.

I'm 40 and I don't wanna
live in pain or worry.

I want peace.

I want structure I wanna create.

So I'm building a life that supports
that for me, but most importantly,

the people I serve, this is what
I've spent the most time doing.

Our greatest asset is our
lived experience, our wisdom.

Not everyone can do everything, so
therefore we have to turn to others for

the wisdom and apply it to ourselves.

We can learn from other people,
especially those that have life

experiences that we weren't fortunate
enough to have, are different than ours.

The more I reduce friction, the
more present I am, and that's

where I can offer the most value.

For anyone out there starting something,
especially business owners, the lesson

is simple reduce resistance, build
momentum through one small step,

accept that the system is the system.

Learn it, navigate it, but
don't let it break you.

And if it's going to, maybe
there's another way through it.

I've stopped asking for
permission to speak.

My voice matters.

The realization came when I found
creative flow through music,

songwriting changed everything.

Once that part of me came online,
everything fell into place.

So here we are.

I'm speaking, , using this
medium, my voice, podcasting.

To do what humans have always done,
tell stories, reflect, connect.

There's more to come.

This show, Survival Notes is my
place for unfiltered reflections,

personal, professional, integrated.

Over on YouTube, James and I are
building out the Compass Point

Institute, content educational,
structured , clinician focused.

We've also launched a
separate series, Toxic.

It's where I talk about real stuff,
toxic relationships, healing, boundaries.

If you're here and you're
listening, thank you.

Reach out, leave a comment, let me
know what you want to hear more about.

I'm always open to taking this
conversation in new directions.

So until next time, this is
John Murphy, Psychiatric Nurse

Practitioner, until next time.