Jon Murphy, PMHNP: Hello.

Welcome back to Survival Notes.

My name is Jon Murphy, psychiatric
nurse practitioner, and it's good

to be here on Survival Notes.

title of today's episode is
When Structure Feels Unsafe.

In my provisional modality, if you
will, for the purposes of psychotherapy,

I've determined eight different,
what I call nervous system roles.

Talked about this on past episodes.

Then I want to introduce
a couple others today, the

watcher, as well as the operator.

So for myself, I know that a major part in
my survival story was becoming competent

in Behavioralism, developing structure for
myself, those sort of ADHD tools, applying

these to my life and seeing the benefits,
and that is something that I very much

have noticed is not a universal trait.

Many patients of mine with ADHD would
fail to apply these behavioral tools.

We're thinking about attachment theory.

Some of you may be familiar with
the terms avoidance or anxiety.

However, this duality, I
think, is a little incomplete.

Not only do we lack context of
group psychology, but we also

fail to understand underlying
pathology and ultimately avoidance,

depending on the stimulus and the
environmental factors, is a very

triggering place, a very anxious place.

So we need a more complex understanding
with the reinforcement matrix I think

I've, uh, figured out a system that
at least has worked very well with my

patients, and I'm looking forward to
introducing it to a broader audience,

and hopefully it can help people
in their survival story heal and

understand what they've been through.

So they can move forward.

Now, the operator.

So we have to think about growing
up and being young and dependent.

We naturally need to feel
bonded within a group dynamic.

So when we're thinking about
the group, are there things that

we're doing within the group?

That find our place, meaning if
it's a dysfunctional environment,

the group is relatively more
stable by playing a certain role.

This role, depending on the child or
the, person how is this role played?

So the operator.

We can think of as someone that
has learned to relate to others

by suppressing some form of self.

So we can think of emotional suppression,
wearing a mask and dissociating

or pushing away emotions in favor
of wearing a sort of performative

mask or an operational mask.

So what does that mean?

Well, the operator plays a role within
a group, so these types of people are

gonna feel very comfortable in jobs.

They're gonna feel very comfortable in
friend groups where they have a role to

play, but they don't love the spotlight.

, in other words, they're
employee of the month,

but when the workplace starts
to fall apart, it's like,

Hey, I just work here, man.

So these people, when they sense dynamics
shifting, they'll feel uncomfortable.

And they also, value their
independence greatly.

So their survival is tied to
this operational identity.

These people feel threatened by
structure or threatened by dependency

because the operator is dependent
on a group, but they had to do so at

the expense of their emotional self.

When it comes to being consistent with
things or even things that involve

thinking, 'cause these people are
feelers and intuitive operators.

The other mode I wanted to talk
about today is the watcher, and

the watcher is similar, another
classically avoidant type.

The only thing I suppose that is
gonna be effective is if you make

yourself small and quiet so you
learn to belong through invisibility.

Structure is gonna be hard for these
people because they've really had

to develop, individuality . It's
a very solitary place to be.

These types of, the lone wolf, the
types of people that, maybe run in

subcultures that identify as different.

I think of Dungeons and Dragons
and that type of thing, although

it's becoming more mainstream now.

Nonetheless, they're gonna identify with
marginalized groups and that is survival

that does this because you learn to
relate to people within a group setting

by being small and being invisible.

So what does the nervous system do?

Well, the nervous system sends signals
that cue to us that we're not safe,

fight flight responses, anxiety.

Ultimately the safety is gonna be tied
to assimilation, into group dynamics,

interpersonal dynamics, dependency,
and if we do so in a group setting,

and we feel comfortable in this mode,

and now we're an adult, we
no longer are dependent.

These old ways of doing
things are very challenging.

For an operator, being emotionally
vulnerable, or if they have

too much responsibility, the
nervous system will fire off.

in relationships when things get
closer, they're probably gonna

experience anxiety as well.

The watcher is gonna have trouble
with relationships, period.

If you identify with any of these traits,
I think that it's just a different

path to recovery, which is why I
wanted to create this podcast, to show

that not everyone's road is the same.

We all have a unique individual
experience, but humans are complex

to a point, not complex beyond
our understanding to look at this

in a way to help identify these
different paths, and I think I've

done that with the survival modes.

When does anxiety come up for you
and the operator on the watcher,

they're not gonna be able to
identify, they might not even feel it.

It might be hard to even identify
that they have an issue at all

because they've had to be in a
group that was probably hostile.

It was a group that they couldn't be
emotionally vulnerable with in order

to belong and develop these bonds.

I think that's gonna do it for today.

Once again, my name's Jon Murphy.

This is Survival Notes, a
psychiatric nurse practitioner,

and this podcast is brought to you
by my private practice focus path.

You can visit@www.my

focus path.com.

There you'll find my blog.

Reach out, say hello, and let's
keep this conversation going.

Until next time, we'll see you later.