Jon Murphy, PMHNP: Hello,
my name is Jon Murphy.

I'm a psychiatric nurse practitioner,
and this is Survivor Notes brought to

you by Focus Path www.focuspath.com.

Well, it's nice to talk to y'all and
introduce myself and introduce this

podcast, which is an opportunity for me
to freeform and in this creative stream of

consciousness that I find very beneficial.

There's so much to talk about, so I
gotta make it a little bit clear so

I don't go off on this huge tangent.

I think survival is probably
the best frame of reference.

'cause that's what we do.

We survive.

If you're listening to
me, you have survived.

Congratulations So.

We know humans.

It's a story of survival.

Cue the music.

So

we're surviving, but are we thriving?

What do you think?

Well,

what's the difference?

Maybe we just start there.

What's the difference between
surviving and thriving?

Surviving means reacting.

It means we can't be at rest.

It means we need to preserve ourselves.

We need to act impulsively, automatically.

It's a stress response.

Underlying fear,

there's a threat.

What is the nature of the threat?

So we have to think about this.

We have to establish our safety
mentally, physically, spiritually.

Where are we?

And most importantly.

And I think this is the point that is
most often left out why I feel it is so

necessary for me to share my perspective.

Group psychology.

We are creatures that are social.

We rely on each other to
determine our safety and as we are

developing, whether it's infancy.

Childhood or adolescence.

We look to our

family, our attachment figures, the
group context we have to mold into the

group and groups behave differently.

Whenever there's more than two
people, we got ourselves a group

and a group behaves differently.

There's things that are true about groups.

Number one, groups are always dumber than
the individual groups behave differently.

We understand our role within the group.

Our role within the group
will help us understand.

The reactions and responses as we
navigate the group, if we seek to

understand our place within the group,
but we don't get to choose the group in

which we're born into, and nevertheless,
what we do as humans, we adapt.

So that's a good starting point.

How do we adapt?

And why do we adapt?

Well, we can adapt in many ways,
and I think the differences in

adaptation can tell me a lot about

what is going to be the threat for each
individual person that I see that I engage

in medication management or psychotherapy.

So we think about this and we're born
into an environment we're reflexive,

we don't even know we're here.

And yet we're doing things to preserve
our safety, to maintain the bond.

We experience life and
we need information.

The information is, can
I let my guard down?

Can I rest?

What things that are unfolding are
they unfolding in a predictable manner?

Predictable, or be reinforced by similar
experiences as we engage our behavior

as we naturally play out our abilities.

We practice and rehearse our abilities,
and we need the group and our attachment

figures to help us along the way.

It doesn't always work out so perfectly.

So what do we do?

Well, we're gonna adapt.

We're gonna find a way.

We're gonna do what we need to
do to preserve the bond if we're

gonna not pay attention to what's
going on around us so much, or.

Get in our head and overthink
and come to some conclusion that

makes us feel good at the time.

Or maybe we internalize our emotions,
shut them down, go to another

place we, you know, find enjoyment
and worthiness in other areas.

That's all good and fine,
and that's great to do.

It's great that we did it whatever we did
because we did it and it's over, and now

we're here and what have we been through?

So the things that we did then is good.

Because we had to get through.

We had to grow.

We had to remain dependent.

Preserving these bonds,
they're outside of us.

Interpersonal group dynamics are
more important than individual.

There's a difference
between adults and children.

When we look at adults, an adult doesn't
require biologically the same needs.

What does an adult need now?

We're 21 years old.

What have you?

We require

alignment.

We need to feel, we need to
understand what we're going through.

We need to use this
information, the sensory input.

What are we comfortable with?

What does our nervous system
tell us automatically?

If as children we're not given
the understanding of what these

emotions are, maybe we shut them off.

There's gonna be a little
bit of a system update.

We need to update the software and that
can be tricky for many, but ultimately

we do all these things to get to the
point we're an adult, so we have to

remember what we've been through to
understand what we're going through

and develop a new way of doing things.

Not because the old way is wrong
or bad, but because there's a

different way now, a better way now.

So look inside, stabilize,
tolerate, normalize.

Internalize.

We wanna look inward, not in our mind.

We wanna look to our body.

What do we feel?

What do we remember, what do we know,
align, and then use that information

to navigate the environment.

We have to navigate the environment
relative to what our body tells us.

If we're stressed out and anxious.

Usually there's a boundary issue
because group dynamics, they're

so important to survival, and our
nervous system really understands.

We don't want to be threatened again.

So if we're told in groups
to just be quiet or be the

scapegoat, that's what we'll do.

So even as we're drawing awareness,
we just have to remember.

Everything it used to
be, it's not anymore.

The old way is do it
now and do it quickly.

We feel stressed and we have
to think about it, and we think

about it and we feel better.

We solve the problem, we just move on.

We don't think about it so much
and we do it really quickly

and it works really well.

And now as adults, it
just doesn't hit the same.

We get a sense that like it used to work,
maybe we don't have the same energy, it's

because we don't have the same needs.

So it's understanding.

That what we're going through now is
different than what we went through then.

We have to understand that
we don't need to do anything.

What we need to do has already been done.

We grew, we survived.

We remained dependent.

We had to remain in a situation
that was not optimal, but we do

this to survive and we did it well.

So now understanding if
we feel like we need.

Unless there's a bear attacking us or
something actually violent, we don't.

When we know what to do with the adult
part of our brain, it will be "aha".

We won't have to reach for it.

We won't have to overthink for it.

We won't have to fight for it.

So it's letting go of the need to
know, letting go of the need to

do and act, and instead becoming
comfortable with being alone.

Or doing something different.

Now, this is a little bit of
a variation person to person.

In fact, I think there's about eight
rough categories that I can look at.

It's gonna tell us a bit about how people,
what's their path to healing as an adult,

and I'll get into that in the future.

I'll get into the survivor
roles and the survivor types.

But for now, I think that's
a good introduction to

Survivor Notes line by line.

Once again, this is Jon Murphy,
psychiatric nurse practitioner.

We'll see you next time.